There is another man in your woman�s life. Always has been. And it�s not her yellowing ex-file she dumped without ceremony when she, mercifully, met you.
There is that guy your curvaceous wife visits intently once or twice a month. He has a bad handwriting and surprisingly he is eloquent. He can pronounce words like ‘prognosis’ without flinching because he is smart.
You doubt your wife, she is attracted to intelligence and he certainly is above average. Her gynecologist wears glasses and has a sly smile which you saw once. He is cheeky and can confidently make statements like, “I am going to see your wife now” and expect you to sit outside and patiently wait as your wife gets undressed for him.
Hell you can’t, you force your way into the small room and she gets vexed. She cites your lack of trust and patience, but the argument spirals into your obnoxious snore. You realise winning is a long shot and you promise to make peace with the other man in her life.
You don’t make peace. There is no way in hell you can call up the man. Even in the event you did, it will never be a discussion on the partial custody of her privates. Then when her phone beeps and you see ‘My Gyna,’ you want to pick and tell him to back off.
You have contemplated stealing his medical licence. You saw him in the club once and thought of drugging him. You have thought of doing nefarious things to him when drunk. But you envy him; he has seen what had taken you months to see.
You had to face her father, and worse, her cucu, who kept asking for tobacco. Then you coughed out a large part of your savings to touch what the gyna was touching!
By the way, have you noticed a woman can bounce your dates, but rarely misses appointments to see her gynecologist? ‘My gyna,’ she calls him!
There are other men in your woman’s life, including Mike, her cab guy. When she gets stuck in the middle of night and nowhere, it is Mike who comes to her rescue. Then there’s the guy she sources the latest series and movies from, her ‘exhibition’ mng’aro man (who sells to her on endless credit) and the list could go on to include, Dennis, her fall back guy when matters of the heart become unbearable.
The Nairobian sought opinion about the other guy likely to cause friction in a relationship. Here are the usual suspects:
1. Gynaecologist
Men are miffed that their women prefer male gynaecologists. They are said to be gentler and not envious when treating the honey pot.
Monica Mwadime, a 32-year-old company secretary, has had one gyna for 10 years.
“I was only 22 when I got a rash. I later realised that it was a sexually transmitted disease and I was very scared as I didn’t want to be judged. Finding out that I had an STD was embarrassing enough,” Monica shared.
She was introduced to her gynecologist by her close friend. “Not only has he always been extremely professional and kind, but also very understanding. I actually prefer him to a female physician. I have a warped idea about women being very judgmental of my body,” she says.
John Omollo, on the other hand, cannot imagine another man touching his wife’s privates. To him it does not matter whether it’s a medical case.
“We all saw the fake gynecologist on TV. No sane man would leave his woman with another man, let alone a gynecologist in a closed room,” said a rather disgusted Omollo.
2. Gym/swimming instructor
Scientifically, exercise facilitates the release of endorphins, the feel-good chemicals that make one happy and relaxed.
No man who has come across this information wants to imagine that his woman is in the gym experiencing such emotions next to a shirtless muscular man.
Erastus Karanja, a manager at a five-star restaurant started accompanying his wife to the gym when he noticed that she was exceptionally excited whenever she came back home.
“I think I drove her into temptation when I first let her go alone. That said, I’m still yet to understand why women swoon over a man who is handling all of them. Is this the only time they don’t mind sharing?” Erastus wondered.
3. Boss/colleague
The last thing a man wants to hear is the mention of another man’s name when you get home late.
“There is nothing as annoying when women go like: “Oh my God! Mutua did the funniest thing today.” Who is Mutua and why is he making my wife laugh,” wonders Jared Mogaka, a jobless father of two.
Jared understands that his wife has to work twice as hard since he was retrenched, but he can’t help it when she has to travel out of town with her male colleagues.
The photos on Facebook are usually the last nail on the coffin.
4. BFF (Best Friend Forever)
We can’t really blame men who don’t subscribe to their wives/girlfriends having male friends.
Women are easily manipulated, mostly by guys with ‘sugar-coated’ tongues.
George Muchiri says that as a guy, he knows that the only time a man can be a best friend is when he is a father or brother.
“I know how many pants I’ve gotten into just by using sweet words and lots of the girls were dating. However, I allow my girlfriend to keep male friends. It’s my own way of testing her. If she messes up, it proves she is not the right girl or I’m not what she’s looking for. I believe a woman should be able to discipline herself, but if she can’t, I dump her,” says the 28-year-old accountant.
Edda Mbaya however feels that men are just over protective.
“What if a man has been your friend since forever and probably you are best friends since childhood? The man in your life will not understand for the simple reason that men are extremely territorial. If they had their way, they would probably mark you with their urine to keep all other males away,” Eddah says.
5. Mechanic
Women love men who can handle ‘foreign’ things. It’s the way he talks about the carburetor and other strange instruments in her car that she has owned forever, but knows zero about. Mary Nanjala was dumped by her boyfriend because she trusted a mechanic more than him.
“There was something about my mechanic’s hands that made me trust him with the car more than I did my ex who claimed he could easily repair the car’s minor problems. Then again, his hands were very sexy. Each time I watched the mechanic work on the car, I had this strange fantasy on what he would do to me with his hands,”Mary told The Nairobian.
0 comments:
Post a Comment