Hilarious Messages Culled From Whatsapp

My hand no dey and it doesn;t mean they are true, but they are very hilarious.

Girls' legs are like rumours.. They spread any how

Robert Mugabe 2015
-------------------------------------------------

Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time. They will say My Love meet My Sweet heart. And the two
idiots will say "Bossu how far?" 😂
😂 😂

Robert Mugabe 2016
-------------------------------------------------

Some of you girls can't even jog
for 5minutes but expect a
guy to last in bed with u for
2hours??? Ur level of
selfishness demands
a one week crusade..
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Robert Mugabe 2016
-------------------------------------------------

It's hard to bewitch African gals these days.  Every time  you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor,  either a Brazilian  innocent  woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

Robert Mugabe 2016
-------------------------------------------------

Dating a slim/ slender guy is cool. The problem is when u lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face😂😂😂

R.G Mugabe 2016
-------------------------------------------------

No sex before marriage???
If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day.

Robert Mugabe
Wisdom will kill Mugabe
-------------------------------------------------

Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend

Robert Mugabe 2016
-------------------------------------------------

"Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth. But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking dicks still baffels me..."

~Robert Mugabe😂😄💦😂😂
-------------------------------------------------

If you are ugly,you are ugly.Stop talking about inner beauty cos we dont walk around with X-rays😀😀
#ROBERT MUGABE
-------------------------------------------------

Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex

-Robert Mugabe
-------------------------------------------------

Dear sisters,

Don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining.........you are not an umbrella -
Robert Mugabe (2016)
------------------------------------------

Obama: Mugabe, wisdom and money which one will you go for?                                           
Mugabe:  I will take money
Obama: But I will go for wisdom
Mugabe: Well everyone will go for what he lacks😂😂

Stupidity is when u lick a woman with ur bare tongue n later sex her with condom. What are u preventing, catarrh or headache?
- Robert Mugabe

Read More

Hilarious! Check Out the Annoying Things Nigerians Do When They Visit Foreign Countries

Nigerians are known for their love for traveling around the world. These are some the things they do when they visit other countries.

The streets of New York

 

The last thing any Nigerian who travels abroad wants to do is look or be different.

 

Nigerians generally put in the effort to blend in or endear themselves to the locals in whatever location they find themselves , however, it is amazing to know that despite their intention, certain actions still mark them out, not necessarily in a negative way, but certainly in a unique form. Traveling out of Nigeria to a foreign location?

 

Before you jump on that plane to head anywhere outside of the country take a look at Jumia Travel’s list of 5 annoying things Nigerian’s do abroad. It should serve as a starter to keep you from threading the same path.

 

1. Only eating the food they know 

 

You would think that a visitor to a new location would explore its parameters, savoring its gastronomies…that is not the usual case with tourist Nigerians. Several African and Nigerian restaurants are booming in foreign countries not necessarily because of the number of the people in diaspora who patronize but for a large number of tourists who visit for local meals.  Nigerian prefer to stick to their own food, and in situations where there are no local restaurants or foods around, they usually stick to staples like bread or rice.

 

2. Use Naija slangs 

 

Nigerians are very proud of their local language and even more of the colloquial language prevalent in the nation. Most Nigerians abroad adopt these slangs in their normal English and use them while referring to all kinds of people, even those who have no clue of what it could mean. Do not be surprised to find a Nigerian in Beijing using such slangs as “Abeg”, “Shebi”, “Pele”etc. while communicating to a Local in the city.

 

3. Butcher the foreign accent 

 

Nigerians tend to believe that they can pull off any accent  or speak any language if they tried. They are usually empaths when it comes to speaking. In most cases, they mimic the accent of whoever they talk to. A reoccurring instance is a Nigerian faking an American accent on the first trip to the US. The thing, however, is that while they struggle to adopt the new accent, they ruin it and end up not communicating properly to the local, or sometimes even irritating whoever they are talking to.

 

4. Shop for Africa 

 

It is no secret. Nigerians are the one with the heaviest carry-ons and the largest number of shopping bags. While some might not be shopaholics and rarely shop while in Nigeria, it is a different story when they travel, they shop till they drop as they most times mentally convert the cost of the purchase and keep buying because they feel it is much cheaper.

Read More

SEE The Hilarious Nipple Tattoos People Are Now Getting

From weird designs of celebrities to drunken ink mistakes, there are a lot of bizarre tattoos around.
However, these NIPPLE tattoos are some of the worst EVER and serve as yet another reminder to think before you ink.

Complete with a top hat, monocle and even a curly moustache, this nipple tattoo is hilarious, but it’s just one of the hundreds of questionable tattoos that people are getting done on their nipples.

This nipple tattoo of a clown may be funny, but it’s enough to give some people a fright. More photos below...

Read More

See Woman Who Promise To Continue Giving Birth For Her Search For A Girl Despite Having 13 Boys

The couple whose name is Irineu Cruz, a 40-year-old farmer, and Jucicleide Silva who lives in Brazil. They have been trying for a daughter for almost 20 years but have only had sons. Their sons now 13 in number ranging from 1 month - 18 years of age.

Their marital agreement was that the father is to name the sons while the mother is to name the daughters but unfortunate for the woman she has no being able to do her on side since a female child is not forth coming amd she vows not to stop until she get a girl.

The fortunate husband who is a lover of football names his sons after great footballer whose names begins with 'R'. Their names are as follows; Robson (18), Reinan (17), Rauan (15), Rubens (14), Rivaldo (13), Ruan (12), Ramon (10), Rincon (9), Riquelme (7), Ramires (5), Railson (3), Rafael (2) and Ronaldo, (1 month old).

Read More