Guys, Don't Dull! You Will Start Dating Only Funny Ladies After Reading These 9 Points

If you have had any reservations about dating a funny lady in times past, you will change your mind after going through this.

 

file photo

 

A sense of humor has long been heralded as a desirable trait in men when it comes to dating, often sitting at the top of the characteristics women want in a partner.

 

Men, on the other hand, generally don’t say things about prospective girlfriends, like, “She could be short, fat, and bald. I don’t really care, as long as she has a sense of humor.” But there are plenty of reasons men should be looking for funny women to pair up with.

 

Here are 10 reasons we recommend everyone to date a funny lady:

 

1. Because they’re funny.

 

I mean, obviously. Funny people know how to say the right thing at the right time—or the wrong thing at the wrong time, in the best way. We can get a laugh in the worst moments and make stressful situations fun. I own the dance floor at weddings and can make people snort at funerals. Cocaine, in the bathroom, after the service: it’s a real pick-me-up when a loved one has died.

 

2. Funny ladies are deep thinkers.

 

No matter how silly the joke, underneath it lies a very serious mind. The funniest women are incredibly keen observers who are great at analyzing what’s going on around them. So your conversations with a funny woman will not only be hilarious but also enlightening. At least about the basics, like bodily functions and food. I don’t mean we’d talk about bodily functions and food at the same time. Actually, yeah, probably.

 

3. They can relate to your anxieties and insecurities.

 

If you ever want to feel better about yourself, listen to a funny woman talk about how badly she feels about herself. Not only will you feel better, she’ll feel better, too, because if there’s one thing funny women love to do, it’s talk. That’s why mimes aren’t considered comics. Because they’re silent. And because there’s nothing funny about being trapped in an invisible box. It’s horrible, in fact. I mean, WE’RE ALL IN CAGES YEARNING TO BREAK FREE, AMIRIGHT?

 

4. All of my friends are funny and/or smart, too!

 

You’ll never get bored hanging out with funny girls who have endless stories to tell. Also a bonus if you like to hang out in bars and clubs that serve the kind of food that inspires jokes about bodily functions (see #2).

 

5. Funny people don’t embarrass easily.

 

I’m a comedian in real life, which means I have talked into a microphone loudly and proudly about the kinds of things most people whisper about, and I take life’s awkward moments in stride. Like the time I fell into the gap between the subway train and the platform and almost lost my leg but got saved by a stranger who pulled me up by my nipple. Or the time I flirted with the doctor before he gave me a colonoscopy. (He flirted with me after, too. What does that say about how beautiful I am on the inside, huh?).

 

6. I live for the story.

 

If a sense of adventure is what excites you, then step right up! Comedians can always tell when some interesting shit is about to go down and know how to follow the action. That’s not just because we love telling stories, we also love living a story! It’s an exhilarating feeling to know you’re really alive and in the moment, even if that means you find yourself in a club in Scotland filled with loud, toothless, aging gay men wearing assless chaps, fighting to shut them up while you throw yourself into a split and start freestyle rapping. Hey, I won them over in the end!

 

7. Comedians know how to party.

 

It’s no secret that comedians are legendary partiers. But it’s not just because some of us are terrible drunks. It’s because we love to have fun and make fun for other people. And because some of us are also terrible drug addicts.

 

8. We like movies about dumb sh*t.

 

Afraid a girly girl won’t want to watch frat humor with you? Don’t worry. We love to laugh at broad comedy as much as we love to cry at movies for broads. Fortunately, Bridesmaids andThe Heat fall into both categories, and I’m pretty sure you’d love those flicks, too.

9. We love surprises!

 

Imagine how fun I would be popping up behind you on a date, going, “DID YOU FORGET ME?! HERE I AM! LUCKY NUMBER 7! WOO!”

 

In closing, funny women may be just like regular women with slightly more body hair, but we are also really grateful for free entertainment. So don’t skip over the next funny woman’s profile you come across while you’re online dating looking for Mrs. Right. Most of us distrust the notion of marriage because we come from broken homes, so we’ll save you lots of money on diamonds. Call me!

 

Just kidding, you don’t have my number. OR DO YOU? IT’S IN YOUR POCKET.

Read More

Fear Them! 5 Types of Ladies You Must Never Try to Sleep With

 

Do you want to live long as a guy? Then, be very watchful never to have anything with this type of women as they may ruin your future if you sleep with them. 

1. Users

These girls exchange s*x for money, gifts, fancy restaurants, shopping trips, etc. Well, it might be a good trait, if all you want from her is s*x.

 

So, if that’s how you view her, go for it, but be prepared to pay! And do not complain that money is all she is after. That’s true!

 

2. A busy girl

She is never single. There is no time between the guys she has. She breaks up with one and the next day gets another.

 

Here is what a psychologist says about such people:

 

“Those who are always in relationships have no sense of who they are as an individual. They easily become co-dependent.”

 

3. Party girl

She is never sober. She jumps from one man to another. You risk catching an STD from such a lady or getting yourself in trouble over her.

 

In most cases, these girls have s*x only when they are drunk. It’s the riskiest intercourse you can have.

 

4. Insecure

This first type can easily agree to have s*x. However, once they do, they get so attached to you. Unless you have the intention to marry the woman, do not sleep with her.

 

Breaking up with such a girl might be very troublesome. Her self-esteem is low. She painfully takes any measure of rejection.

 

So, if you do not enjoy hysterics, stay away from such ladies.

 

5. Unprotected s*x lover

You may care nothing for her health or safety, but you surely care for yours. So, if she mentions a willingness to have it, think twice!

 

If you do not want complications in your life, avoid such girls. 

Read More

Ladies will you lick this type of ice cream publicly?

Will you? 

Read More

Ladies, Run Away Fast! These are 10 Warning Signs Of a Womanizer You Must Avoid

Real men who can truly love a woman do exist but they are hard to find but these are signs to watch out for in a serial womaniser.

 

 

Many of us are still looking for The One – the guy we will spend the rest of our lives with. Our soul mate who will be there for us all the time, loving us, comforting us, sharing moments with us and protecting us.

 

Finding the one guy that is perfect for you is not easy, and many of us are scared of making the same dating mistakes over again. Many of us have dated the creeps, the losers, the lazies, the crazies, the overly sickly sweets, the FIFA players, the machos, the mommies boys, and the over achievers who we can’t keep up with. But what about the one type of man we all fear the most, The Womanizer?

 

The womanizer is a man who isn’t ready to settle down yet, but he’ll do anything to convince you that he is. He’ll tell you you’re the love of your life and that you’ve got great eyes, great legs and great everything.

 

But how do you know when you’ve got a womanizer on your hands and not the genuine article? Let’s take a look at the top 10 warning signs of a womanizer.

 

1. He Gets Your Name Wrong

 

Yesterday you were Rita, today you’re Lisa and tomorrow you’ll be Priscilla. Sure, he says he’s got fifteen aunties and five different moms but you should know deep down that he’s actually got too many single ladies in his life.

 

2. He’s Super Vain

 

For a lot of women, having a great sense of humour is the first trait we look for in a prospective partner. But if a man is a womanizer, it’s highly likely that his sense of humour cuts dead as soon as you touch his immaculate hair.

 

Don’t try to touch his suits either because they cost a bomb.

 

“Please tell me you did not just put my dry-clean only suit in the wash? I. MIGHT. DIE.”

 

3. He Never Lives Up To His Word

 

We’ve all felt a rush of blood to our heads as our man tells us what he’s going to do for us. He’s going to take us away for a romantic weekend, introduced us to his family, and basically capture the moon for us.

 

It all sounds so exciting and we instantly buy into his dream. His words have swept us off our feet.

 

After a few weeks and months, though, he still hasn’t made good on his word. You’ve still not been away for a weekend together (as a matter of fact, he seems to spend most of his weekends away on his own), and you haven’t even met his family. Is this guy for real and are his endless list of excuses just a cover-up? You bet!

 

4. He Has A Reputation

 

If women have come up to you or messaged you on Facebook that your new man has got a reputation, you shouldn’t swiftly dismiss this accusations as manifestations of jealousy. Instead, you should hear them out and make up your own mind.

 

5. He Only Seems To Appear Later At Night

 

From my experience, this is the biggest tell-tale sign of them all that you’ve got a perennial womanizer on your hands.

 

Your man should be available day and night, and not just “any time after ten PM.” It just isn’t good enough that he only makes a cameo appearance when the sun has set. Sure, he tells you that he’s been working late or whatnot, but you know deep down that something just doesn’t seem right here.

 

A man who isn’t a womanizer will want to see you at all times, and not at the witching hour only.

 

6. When He Compliments You All The Time

 

They say that when a guy compliments us too much it usually means they’re feeling guilty about something, or they’ve got something to hide.

 

Sometimes, guys will shower us with compliments whenever they’re feeling good about something – such as a spot of womanising.

 

When a man looks into your eyes and tells you how beautiful you are, it’s sincere and genuine.

 

But when he’s hyper and won’t stop covering you with compliments about your eyes, your legs, your hair, your bum et cetera, you should be on your guard.

 

7. He Moves Really Fast

 

You haven’t even introduced yourself and he already wants to buy a house with you and have all your babies. Red flag.

 

8. He Locks His Phone

 

We all locked our phones when we were kids (still no idea why), but no normal adult does this in 2016.

 

Except womanizers, of course.

 

If you notice that his phone is constantly buzzing and he’s always texting someone, it’s a pretty big warning sign. But if he also locks his phone so that you can never access it, it’s a full on red-alert that he’s not the man for you.

 

9. He Doesn’t Call Back For Ages

 

You’ve just had a great night with him that you both seemed to enjoy. You had a laugh, some dinner and a bit of romance. It went so well.

 

But then he doesn’t return your call for days afterwards. What gives?

 

Eventually, of course, he will return and say that he was busy or something equally empty. He’ll want another giggle, some more dinner and a bit more romance again.

 

Take all this as a warning sign. He only wants you when he’s got a few needs to fulfil. Once they’ve been taken care of, he’s off to look for other adventures.

 

10.He Flirts On Social Media

 

Facebook is often a great place to find out whether or not your man is a womanizer. If he isn’t a womanizer, his photos and comments will be totally normal and respectful. There might be pictures of him enjoying a drink with the lads, and maybe one or two of his mom.

 

If, however, he can’t get enough of the opposite sex, you can expect to see lots of photos of him on regular nights out with lots of different girls. You’ll also notice flirty comments and invitations to hang out with all kinds of women you’ve never heard of before. No matter how much he tells you he loves you, it’s clear that he can’t control his appetite for girls.

 

Read More